On a trip earlier this week to see some family in the Houston area, I was discussing with my aunt about my uncle not being able to see his car’s head’s up display because he wears polarized sunglasses. He had no clue it was a feature on his car until she pointed it out. A simple oversight.
This got me to thinking about John’s own issues with certain things and having to wear sunglasses and other prescription glasses. I think I have touched on this subject in other posts but I don’t think I have a blog post all its own on the topic.
John has to wear polarized sunglasses and special prismatic, prescription eyeglasses. He wears these glasses as a necessity because of his TBI. He did not have to wear them before and had near perfect vision pre-TBIs. Things that get him include:
- Bright sunlight and glare
- Fluorescent lights (found in most US stores)
- LED lighting
- Strobe and other club type lighting (not seizure inducing for him, thank goodness)
If he doesn’t wear the eyewear he becomes symptomatic and cannot function well. There have been many a time we have either returned home to get his forgotten glasses, left earlier from a place than expected because he forgot his nighttime driving glasses, or left a store or venue due to lighting.
Not so long ago, we were at an indoor mall or someplace like that and were trying to order lunch from a fast food place. Their menu was lit in such a way that he could not read the menu with his sunglasses on. He was wearing the sunglasses because the lighting was too intense without them. The menu appeared black. Assuming that there must be something there and because I was looking at it with interest, he took off his glasses. He immediately comprehended the menu but also immediately started getting overloaded because of the lighting. The glasses immediately went back on. In this instance, he didn’t want any other food option at the food court so I read the menu for him and ordered for him. Not a big deal but if I had not been there, he would not have been able to order on his own.
He tells me that post-TBI, he wears the sunglasses inside stores because he can now see waves of lighting trailing down and out from all the fluorescent lights. He describes it as a “shimmery waterfall.” Things appear blurry and he loses his balance. I can only imagine how disorienting that would be. The effect triggers a stabbing headache.
He wears prescription prismatic eyeglasses. Without them he sees triples. So, I look at the moon and see one moon. He sees three moons, almost like a kaleidoscope. He has this vision issue at all times but it’s very noticeable at night. These glasses have been a life saver and weren’t prescribed until 2017, 7 years after the last catastrophic TBI occurred.
We have to be adaptable with our plans based on situations. John’s entire body and mind lock up and he cannot move or function if he is around club type strobe lights or other types of flashing lights. This includes emergency vehicles and is one reason he was medically retired. We don’t encounter situations like this much anymore because we don’t go out to bars or clubs or concerts where that type of lighting might be. (Not sure how much of that is us adapting to his new limitations or if we’re simply middle aged and, dare I say it, old.) In the rare instances we do, I have to grab his arm and guide him away.
Any of these situations when he doesn’t have his glasses or has to take them off, include me helping navigate the situation to varying degrees. I find being attentive, patient, and adaptable are key. He gets frustrated at the need for help (while grateful for it too) and always needs to quickly find a quiet place to sit, usually cupping his head in his hands and groaning. If we catch things quickly, he can usually continue on after a few minutes rest but for a shorter amount of time than if it had not occurred. In other words, each rough instance makes his little Nintendo life meter get lower. We have both learned how to monitor that and adjust plans at a moments notice.
The mall or shopping adventures are especially hard for him. I have learned that going shopping without him, especially if I need to browse, is better, all-be-it lonely. I have also changed into an “attack and kill it” sort of shopper, which I was not before. It has its pros and cons.
TBI Spouse (and Others) 