Thank You for Getting It

One of my best, lifelong friends surprised me the other day by texting and asking if a time would work later this summer for her and her family to drive out to see us. They live in another state, about a 12-hour drive away. She, her husband, and their 2 youngish kids are coming. I am thrilled. It’s been too long, COVID aside, since I’ve seen her, much less her “boys” (husband included there).

When she first texted, she let me know right off that she will plan to stay in a hotel or VRBO. I also think this is a good plan as it will be easier and more comfortable for everyone, but, when we were confirming timing, I let her know they were welcome at our place. I texted, “That works for us. If you have trouble finding a place to stay, let me know. It would probably be less stress for everyone if you find a place but we have a guest room for you and Bill. We can put the boys in the TV room. Keep me updated.”

She wrote back, “Looks like there’s a few options nearby. I don’t want to put you out and I known John won’t be able to handle the level of chaos my boys bring.”

I responded, “Sounds good. Thanks for thinking of John and getting it.”

She responded with, “I totally understand. I’d rather us have an enjoyable time instead of flaring his TBI and PTSD. My boys are so loud and rambunctious it’s just a bad combo.”

I share this conversation because the relief I felt when I realized my friend really does get it was palpable. I don’t have to explain anything and worry that, even after an explanation, there may still be hurt feelings. I’m used to needing to offer apologies and rationales for John’s missing presence or unusual behavior with friends and family. I knew of the burden of this responsibility before but today made me acutely aware of it.

Thank you my dear friend for thinking of us and being selfless enough to just accept me and my family for what we are and the craziness we bring. 🤪