Career Change

I’m going to just come out and say it. I have decided to become a registered nurse!! Yes, at near the age of 40 and 14 years into a career as an office/project manager. After having completed a master’s in history, being married and with a young child I am returning to school to complete a bachelor’s of science with an RN. I am both really nervous and really excited.

As you might imagine, I landed on this decision after a fair amount of soul searching. It came about for a couple of reasons. I have been, let’s suffice it to say, not the happiest at work and cannot see a future for myself with my current company after trying a number of ways to progress. I also am not inclined to try to find a different company to work for, doing a similar thing. John has been going crazy the past few years watching me so unhappy at work and late last year looked at me one night in the kitchen, and said, “Have you ever considered nursing?” I looked at him all gap jawed and wide eyed and said, “No. Are you out of your mind?” He said no and proceeded to explain his rationale. He has seen my personality and the way I have taken care of him over the years. He also said that he’s seen the way I am with our daughter, kind and gentle yet tough and firm. An example, she had scrapped her knuckle. I was in the bathroom with her, trying to clean it out and get a bandaid on it. She didn’t want me to run it under the water and gently try to work out the gravel and dirt in it. I had her hand in a firm grip as she was fussing and crying and said to her, “Sweetie, I know it hurts but we have to clean the cut out. This just has to be done.” John said he was witness to this exchange and realized that I’d make a great nurse. Further, knowing me so well, had an inclination that I would enjoy it. I told John that he had a point but that my taking care of him and Eva did not equal taking care of other people. As we continued to talk though, I started to see his points and give some water to a tiny, itsy-bitsy seed that had been lying dormant in the shady recesses of my mind.

I have taken care of John and hopefully well. What I now recognize as tiny seeds were planted by the interactions with doctor’s and nurses and therapists who have treated him. I also recognize seeds that popped up during my reading of health related things. I have thought before that if I could do it all over again that I’d like to go into medicine of some sort. I actually had a conversation with John’s occupational health provider about the path I might take to do what she did. I also had a previous boss who would say, “what we’re doing is important but it isn’t life threatening.” Each time she’d say this I’d usually briefly think about how neat it would be to have a job where what you did all day did make a difference and might be life threatening or life altering for someone.

I never pursued these thoughts deeper because I didn’t think I could because of a lack of capability and I thought it was too late for me.

I was not good at math. This held me back from taking classes in the hard sciences because there were math prerequisites that I couldn’t get past. So, even though I loved the one Biology class I took back in high school, I couldn’t complete the second class because my teacher wouldn’t sign off on my progressing unless I had better math scores. As I got older and into college, I decided to complete my science credits by taking geology, an avoidance tactic. By that point, biology or chemistry seemed like subjects beyond my grasp. Over years of crying over my math homework at night because I was so frustrated at not understanding it and just eking by in math, I had and have a lot of hang-ups with perceived lack of ability.

Since late last year and after I thought hard about this nursing idea, I knew I was going to have to face my demons and determine if I could relearn math and get into the hard sciences. I also knew I would need to pass the nursing school entrance exam. I signed up for a general chemistry class to see how I would do in the subject. I also began to work my way through re-teaching myself math. I literally began with 7th grade level concepts in pre-algebra. I also found a YouTube channel to get a crash course in anatomy and physiology. And, I found a little cadres of friends who were willing to tutor me or give me mini-lessons in key topics. And, I used a Kaplan study guide. I have to give credit to The Khan Academy, Brandon Craft Math, and Science with Suzanna for getting me to a level where I not only passed the entrance exam but did well. The chemistry class I not only did pretty well in but really geeked out on learning about the subject. I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of time and support I’ve already received to make this dream a reality.

I will begin nursing school in September. I know the next few years are going to be intense and difficult but I now have confidence that I can do this. That those subjects I once thought out of reach, are not so unattainable. I am also really excited about finishing out my life working as a nurse. I think it will be rewarding in ways I don’t yet realize.

We will see where I end up but this is a silver lining to my husband’s injuries. If it weren’t for him and what he’s gone through, and we’ve gone through together, I’m not sure I would have gotten here mentally or been in a position to do so. It’s because of him and his sacrifices, and his constant cheerleader encouragement of me, that is allowing me to have this option.

In talking about this career change with other people, I’ve heard many stories that what I’m doing actually isn’t that unheard of. Many people know of friends or colleagues who were mid-life and mid-career but decided to become an RN or go to medical school. I’m not sure I was emotionally ready or mature enough when I was younger to land on healthcare. As long as I can study my tail off the next few years, I should be working as an RN. Ahhh!!! It’s totally insane but so very invigorating all at the same time!